The Maintenance Man

This next flame and I actually met on Bumble and dated for a few months last year before parting ways. We spent time indulging in a plethora of activities such as: cooking for one another, going out to eateries downtown, movies or cool at the crib and smoke out. Frequent sexual vibrations ensued as well. Considering all aspects, (and the scarcity of down to earth black men) he’s definitely in my Top 5 “Denver Escapades.” Not much of an age gap, a Father of one and a maintenance man for the city and bedroom. Haha! Anytime we linked it was always easygoing — whether we engaged in a healthy debacle about a current event or just laughing at stupid stuff; the energy was organic. He was also consistent and continued to reaffirm his interest through his ACTIONS (including: call/texts, FT or initiating spending time). However, after the first couple months in — mentally I desired more stimulating conversation. His response was, “oh that’ll came with time.” “I’ll give you some time... that’s enough time.” How much time do you need to strike up a dialect about something other than how my day went? It was very surface level for me. Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., LMFT award-winning therapist and psychology writer said “most men have a hard time communicating anything that remotely resembles an emotion.” Did you know women speak at 250 wpm opposed to men averaging 125? He continues to expound stating that women tend to speak faster when excited and may interrupt their partners struggling to find the right words. Thus, men may lose track, shut down because of their inability to express themselves or even converse. Overall, time is too precious to waste with someone who doesn’t arouse you in other ways besides intimacy. If any, share your perspective or opinions below. Relation or situationship take this five question Quick Compatibility Test